can i cum now?

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mea culpa, Miss Blue

Alas i did not notice that this post was due on Thursday for Your birthday.
i had thought it was Saturday and i was hoping that my shoes would come for my dance number. Your shoes arrived but mine won't be here for a week or so.

experiences of fear and how i coped

Let's start with The High Challenge. I was at a raw food convention in Eugene OR and there was a high challenge. You do have guide wires and the like but you are walking on a telephone pole atop a couple telephone poles. Just climbing up gave me the jitters. Sure I am telling myself that it is safe and relax and i can do it, but turning around to face my walk suspended in the air was really frightening. After a few deep breaths, i did manage to get across. I passed on a rope for the feet and a couple for the hands.

Sure moving from LA to the east coast could have been scary but it really wasn't as i am pretty flexible.

One day i hooked up with a couple. He was about my height but build like a boxer. His gf was nice lady. He had the most lovely nine inches of blackness. She was a blonde. So we are chatting online. I figured we would meet for coffee but She demanded that i come over. She tells me she is in class and that He would greet me and She would arrive a few hours later. I planned to cook a dinner for Them. So i arrive and He is showing me the kitchen and how i was not to look Him in the eye. He then says that everything i had was his. He takes my clothes and it dawns on me that nobody knows i am here. i figure i had better be the best slave i can be. As it turns out They were just play acting. But the thought of losing my new car to Them was a bit scary. Basically all i did was to play along and it turned out to be a fun experience. I think if at my core i wasn't so frightened i would have continued the relationship even though i did have a on-again off-again Floridian gf/mistress at that time.

Life in High School was always a fearful time. I went a school that was the KKK headquarters in the fifties and when i went there it was home to the crips and bloods. Every day there were fights at lunch time with crowds surrounding them. So one day i feel that a good sociological experiment would be to watch one fight and see what the crowds get from it. I guess i chose a black-black fight because all of a sudden this big black guy grabs me by the neck and drags me back fifteen feet. He releases me, we look at each other with nothing being said, and i walked away never to look back.

What's it like to cum

With the right person it is transcends time and space.

You always remember the first time and the time with your true love.

So the first time it seemed I was in some dark cave or tunnel. I was with a screamer and my parents were a thin wall away. My father had a grin but my mother kept asking how old she was. It was an experience aided by years of yoga and meditation.

Fourteen years ago I had the experience with my true love. Our normal times together were unbelievable but one time it was beyond that. As lovers we were very much in sync so things went pretty simple. She would suck the life out of my nipple rings. She would suck my tongue so much that it was sore the next day. As she was sucking my tongue our bodies were so perfectly matched that she was sucking my cock just as perfectly. Perhaps it helped that she had a water bed. The result was cataclysmic bliss. A very full body orgasm that touches the soul. So powerful that it opened my heart chakra and I felt bolt of energy joining our hearts. It released a powerful kundalini energy.

That orgasm was so strong that years later when I was sleeping with my Newport gf, I found myself reenacting the event nightly. It was bad enough that my body was going thru the motions with my gf lying next to me, but what was worse is that a ghost came into the room. At first we only smelled her lavender scent. The next time she was wearing high heels climbing the stairs entering our room and enveloping me as she passed through. The last time she took over my dream and demanded that I treat her as my true love or else I would never sleep with my true love again. So there I am hugging her and pounding away when a little old lady enters the room of my dream and wants me to make love to her. I push the little old lady away because I want to focus all my energy on pleasing this brown haired ghost. Don't recall what startled me but the dream was broken and my gf was pissed, "do you know what you did? You pushed me away...." My gf admitted to having seen that ghost and her daughter at another time and described her like I recalled. I had thought I was superimposing a Playboy Bunny into the dream but that does not seem to be the case.

Yes, that was a powerful orgasm.

Otherwise a cum can be as simple as oh that was nice or worse as opps though that is not common with copious amounts of oral worshiping that i do so enjoy and sometimes get mini-orgasms from.

how far will i go?

First off this picture is just unfair. Why does she get to use a urinal?

So i haven't had a release in a couple weeks. i do so want to cum and it to be a strong one. Well there's a part of me that wants to pierce my other nipple and i suppose a bellybutton pierce would be a nice femme thing to do.

i have been able to get by with a little masturbation. Now don't get Your panties in a tissle, i do this sissy walk of short steps with one foot in front of the other and add an occasional sassha with my hips. The stimulation is quite pleasing. Not that stimulating but still. Well i am on the lookout for some five inch pumps to do the walk more appropriately.

But honestly when the urge arises all i have to do is lube up and pretend that my seven inch dildo is attached to Miss Blue as She is pumping me and all is fine.

Had to get new panties

Last night when I went I got the lesson it was too late for VS and the like. So I ran to WalMart and got the closest thing i could. I wore them to work but just did not like them. So at lunch i ran to VS and was helped by a lovely sales Lady. She was more than happy to find me a light pink bikini pantie. She even turned me onto the most darling white lacy thong. Then she thought bright red lacy boyshorts would fill the quota. These are a dream. I feel so much better in them.

pretty in pink

I'm so pretty

My homebrew chastity belt

I had thoughts of using old panties but the instructions said sock so I tried and tried to use whatever socks i had lying around and it just didn't work. Yesterday i saw the old pair and since they were already stretched out, I thought i'd give it a try. One length of dark blue ribbon tied my PA and guiche that kept everything together. The sides of my thong went around and tied off. The front went over the front and was tied off by the foot long dark blue ribbon.

I like the contrasting colors and hope you do as well.

Denial - the other half of Tease

A stripper friend once said the tease is better than the real thing. The real thing can get boring but the tease is always arousing and building on the idea of getting what you want as opposed to actually getting it. I can see her point but on the other hand the sex I shared with my DC gf fifteen years ago I still remember like it was yesterday. In the sporting world it is why college football is better than pro. I'd say the same of college basketball, if it were not for The Lakers.

I do enjoy being in a constant state of arousal. It makes me get all tinglie and emotional. I do have orgasms but they are of the whole body type variety. It is these experiences which attracted me to chastity in the first place. Sure I have a strong desire to please lovely Miss Blue but it is the bondage aspects of chastity that makes me feel complete and safe and whole.

I know that not touching my cock is good for me. Anything I can do that excites any mistress is good for me. I get great pleasure reading Miss Blue's accounts of Her getting wet that it is all worth it. Lovely Miss Blue did comment She thought Her students would linger too long cleaning Her property and it was only today that I found myself doing just that. I do find myself hard a lot but without any stimulation the erection diminishes. The arousal, however is ongoing. The pace of my breathing rises. I can feel my heartbeat. But then I reach over and suck the cock or stick it up my butt and I then relax, but the arousal remains.

Yes, it's that time of the month

I went to my local drug store. I could not find tampons and the vibe was not right. I mean I was prepared. I was wearing a plug and my chastity belt for good measure. I don't know - there was a young guy at the counter. Just didn't seem right.

Went to Walmart and thought I'd give that a try. It is a huge store and well lit. I find pads pretty easily but no tampons. All this walking around and no place to sit does not do the plug much good. Out it pops. I casually find a quite area and pop it in my shorts pocket but the shorts are pretty tight so its a little revealing. (I had been stopped at an airport and they were supposed to be looking for a roll of quarters but the attendant asked about the plug instead.) I look around some more and find tampons and get a box of supers. Next I get some fruit and head to a nice, tattooed checker. She did not give it another thought. I next went into the restroom to take care of business and the plug.

Next it is off to my favorite restaurant, Hooters. It seems I am having a bit of reputation which is a good thing. Dear readers, if you are going to use the restroom and have to pee sitting down, please pay extra attention to your plug as gravity is a mess affair. Don't ask how I know such things or why I bring it up.

I am flirting enough with my waitress and dropping a few gin and tonics that I feel comfortable enough to ask to buy some merchandise. I had thrown out my previous Hooter girl costumes so I was looking for some new togs. I just love the tight little shorts. The old ones were satin but these are closer to my yoga/bike shorts or VS boyshorts. They are just so nice and tight and sexy. As luck would have it she is friends with another waitress I befriended while writing an earlier post and was a customer there. So on the bill I see a grey goose. It seems my waitress put her friend's drink on my tab, but once I found that out, I was honored to pay it and apologized for making a fuss.

I had worn the plug to loosen myself up a little in preparation for the next morning. On the drive home, I opened the box and saw how tiny the tampons are. Bigger things have made their way up there so this seems more for pleasure than anything else.

At home, I tried the shorts and what a sexy bitch it makes me.

The next morning I awaken and insert the tampon with coconut oil for lube. Not a big deal. So I take the time to take pictures. I just have to get the right pose. I probably went through fifty shots. That one has a nice look but the background needs work. I know, I will make a shrine to the cock for this new cocksucker. I will do some yoga postures to let gravity help the string. Oh, can't see the string. Must put it against the black shorts. With all these cocks, perhaps I need to suck one as well. I do so love the twenty minute suck sessions. Now a couple hours have elapsed. I suppose I should have brought my tripod. I do like the digital camera, though.

By the four hour mark, the water in my rectum started expanding the tampon which took on a rough texture. So when I pulled it out, there was a little pain, in keeping with the concept of punishment. Still what's a little pain when it is for Miss Blue's pleasure. The tingles just keep reminding me of how devoted I am to Her. In the chat when She said She likes to have her toes sucked it sent shivers up my spine. I don't know what it is about Her lovely feet. I am not a foot fetishist but they are lovely.